The art of saying goodbye...

3/23/2020
I have been working on this one for a while. The timing of actually being able to release it into this blog seems only too appropriate now. This one isn’t about any student in particular…it is about all of them. And about me. This one is personal in both a beautiful and somewhat painful way. So here we go…the art of saying goodbye.

I am currently in my 5th year teaching. It has been a roller coaster. The best kind of roller coaster. Every summer I prepare…anxiously awaiting the first day of school. The first time I see my kids for the year. Some of them I’ve had the previous year but there’s something about the first day of school that makes things feel both new and familiar at the same time. It is so exciting. I love every second of it. We’re home. That is truly what it feels like to me and I know it feels like that for many of them as well. Home. Our classes become families…big dysfunctional families…but families all the same.

Each school year is unique. Each class has its own nuances. They’re never the same. That’s part of what I love about my job. But there are some things you can count on. Someone (or many someones sometimes) will be a little more challenging than the rest. I always love those kids. I get them. Some of them will love coming to class, some will be apprehensive, some will pretend they hate it even when we know they actually want to be there. For many kids, school is their safe space. It is consistent and reliable when their lives outside of school are often the opposite. We will have fun. We will laugh…a LOT. We may cry. We will do many projects, videos, chats, check ins, circle times. We will learn. Whatever the circumstances, through it all, we really do create little families in our class. By the end of the year we all love each other…we have bonded…it is another home.

Eventually though, each school year must come to an end. The closer it gets the more you can feel it in the air. A mix of excitement, nerves, joy and sadness. The 8th graders, in particular, are both excited and nervous for high school (whether or not they’ll admit it). But also full of joy for summer starting and sadness to say goodbye. There it is. That word. Goodbye. A weird one for me. My life has been full of a seemingly endless flow of hellos and goodbyes. Probable more than the average person. And that is okay. But there is something about “goodbye” at the end of the year that holds more weight. Lots of promises will be made. We’ll stay friends in high school. We’ll come back and visit you all the time, Ms. Laird. We’ll never forget about you. We’ll always be a family, even when we’re all in high school. We’ll say hi in the hallways. We’ll never forget. Some of these promises will be kept. Most won’t. And that is okay. You see, the hard part of saying goodbye at the end of the year is knowing I won’t see most of them again and that is okay. That in some ways it is better if they don’t come visit “all the time” because they need to find their place in the next step on their adventures. Of course, I will ALWAYS love seeing their faces when they do come to visit. I will love hearing their stories. I will feel honored every time one of them asks me to sign a recommendation…be it for a high school class, a first job, a college application, a lease when they are adults (yes, I’ve done that for the kids I student taught). But regardless of those things, these kids are moving on. And I am staying in middle school. Preparing my classroom and my heart to nurture a new group of students. To create more families. To start all over again.

This is my job. To help nurture and develop whole students who are ready to move on to the next step in life. And it makes these goodbyes bittersweet. Sad because I will miss them. Every one of them has a piece of my heart so I feel it when they leave. But mostly joy…and pride. Because if they are moving on and making it on this next step of the journey, then I have done my job. I want to see them succeed. I want to see them continue to grow. And I do hope they will update me every now and then but no matter what, I will always be a proud “mama” cheering them on from here. Getting ready to pour into the next group and start the cycle all over again. This is being a teacher. And it is a beautiful thing.

* Update
My initial plan was to end there. And to post this now, before the school year ends, so it wouldn’t be so sad. But then came this virus. Goodbye seems to almost have been taken from us at this point. I hope and pray we will get even a week together at the end of the school year so that we all have some closure. But it is possible we won’t. Here’s hoping. Love to all. Stay safe and healthy! And wash your hands :)

- KL